Bear Unbound: A BBW Bear-Shifter Romance (Shift Your Fate Book 1) Read online

  Kassandra brought a box of tissues, then waited for Amber to calm down.

  “You’re second guessing yourself.”

  Amber huffed.

  “Why?”

  “What do you mean why? Because no matter what I want, this is the truth. The reality is plain and clear: ten years ago, I married Stephan and made the decision to go in head first. I gave up my job and dedicated all my time to learning how to be a proper Castell wife. I didn’t think of the consequences, never even considered that our marriage wouldn’t work. We were so in love… I was so in love.”

  “So, what you’re saying is that you believe this is all your fault.” It was a statement, not a question. Kassandra knew exactly how Amber felt. Hurt, disappointed, insecure. “Amber, your husband made you change for him. He made you believe that you weren’t good enough, that your life and your job weren’t good enough, and he convinced you his way was better. You think you can’t make it on your own, but you’re wrong. The first thing you need to do is detach yourself from him, stop wondering what he might think of your decisions, stop thinking of how he’d judge you if he were here. He’s not here. Let’s forget about him for a second. Now, answer me this: what do you think you need to start a new life?”

  Amber breathed in and out slowly. She focused on Kassandra’s question. The old woman was right. This was about her, not Stephan. This was about her happiness and her daughter’s well-being. Yes, Stephan was a great provider, but he was an awful father.

  “I need a job,” she finally said. “I need a good job.”

  “And what don’t you need?”

  “I don’t need…” She thought of saying she didn’t need Stephan, but then she remembered she was supposed to take him out of the equation completely. “I don’t need a man. Yes, that’s what I don’t need. No men. At least for a while, until I get back on my feet.”

  Kassandra smiled indulgently. “That’s true, Amber.”

  “Oh, and I don’t need to think about the past! Every time I go back, I have second thoughts and I get this… this dreadful feeling that whatever I’m doing now is useless, that I don’t have a future.”

  The old woman cleared her throat. “You see, that’s where you’re wrong. You shouldn’t live in the past, but you shouldn’t ignore it either. There might be something there, someone actually, who can help you get through this.”

  “Someone?”

  Kassandra smiled knowingly, but Amber was at a complete loss.

  “Don’t you remember? Rebecca isn’t the only friend you have in New York. There’s someone else, someone special. You haven’t talked to him in a long time.”

  Amber’s eyes grew wide with realization. “Oh my God, how did you know?” She stood up and started pacing the small room. “I don’t know how you do it. I mean, I’ve read some things about empaths, but this is ridiculous. You’re right, I haven’t talked to Tyler Atwood in ages. We used to be good friends, would chat online for hours, call each other sometimes, but that was before Stephan. Way before Stephan. God, how long has it been? Twelve years? Thirteen? A lifetime!”

  Kassandra clapped her hands in excitement. Finally, they were making progress. It was true that Amber needed a job and didn’t need a man to make her happy. It was also true that she had to detach herself from her past, but only from her past with Stephan. The key was to find the person she was before she met her husband, future ex-husband, actually. And Tyler Atwood could help her do that.

  “I wonder what has become of him,” Amber whispered. “He could be married; he could have children of his own… I can’t believe we lost contact. We were such good friends!”

  “Why don’t you give him a call? You still have his number, right?”

  “Yeah…” She took out her phone to check. “He’s probably changed it, though.”

  “He hasn’t.”

  Kassandra’s words sounded so matter-of-factly that they made Amber’s heart jump. What was the old woman implying?

  “Oh, no… you’re not thinking… I’ve just told you I intend to steer clear of men for a while.”

  “No, you didn’t say that. You said you don’t need a man, and I didn’t contradict you. But why should you steer clear of them? Don’t you have your own needs?”

  Amber took in a sharp breath. Needs. Of course she had her own needs. Stephan had been too busy with his mistresses to take care of them.

  “No, that’s insane.”

  “There was something between you and Tyler…”

  “No, there wasn’t. We never even met. I only know him from the pictures he sent me.”

  “There could have been.”

  “Not really. I was in Chicago, he was in New York. I had my life there, and he had his life here.”

  “But things have changed, haven’t they?”

  Amber fixed Kassandra with cold, blue eyes. Yes, there had always been a strong attraction between her and Tyler, but they had never been open about it. In fact, she remembered quite clearly she had never told him how she felt because she was afraid he didn’t feel the same, or worse, he would’ve thought she was pathetic for falling in love with someone she only knew online.

  Kassandra knew she was losing her. Their conversation had been great until Tyler’s name was mentioned. Amber still had unresolved insecurities in what her old friend was concerned, and she needed time to work through them.

  “Look, just promise me you’ll get in touch with him. You have nothing to lose.”

  “I can’t promise you anything.”

  ***

  The cab had been caught in traffic for a while now, and Amber got bored of staring out the window. She took her phone out to check the time, but it proved to be a bad idea. It reminded her of the number she still had. Tyler’s number. What if she tapped “call”? Would he answer? Would he remember her? Did he still have her phone number, as she had his? She sighed and slipped the sleek piece of technology back into her bag. She had more than enough time to make it for dinner. The cab started moving, but Amber couldn’t focus on the city flashing by anymore.

  Where had she met Tyler Atwood? Probably on one of those forums for book nerds she used to waste time on when she was in college. She couldn’t tell which one, but she knew they had immediately bonded over books, then movies and music. They had so much in common. For at least a year, they had spent hours, if not nights, chatting about everything and anything. College, friends, lovers, politics, concerts, hobbies… No matter how much time they had spent online, they had never gotten bored. They had exchanged pictures and started talking about more personal things. Then Amber met a guy and was in a relationship for around eight months. This was still way before Stephan Castell. She felt so comfortable with Tyler, that she told him everything. Romantic dates, arguments, disappointments, new discoveries, sex… There was nothing she had kept from him, and she knew there was nothing he had kept from her. They would call each other on their birthdays and on Christmas. Once, Amber had been so angry with her boyfriend that she had called Tyler to calm her down.

  The cab was getting close to Rebecca’s place, so Amber snapped out of her thoughts for a moment and started looking for her wallet. “Thirteen years ago,” she thought. “Good times.” She found her wallet, but the cab stopped at another red light. “Why did we drift apart, anyway?” She couldn’t remember exactly when it happened, but she was pretty sure it had been somewhere around the time she met Stephan. It might have been her fault. She was so in love with Stephan that she spent most of her time with him, or simply fantasizing about him. She and Tyler still chatted, but not as often. Then, she got married and their friendship grew even colder. It hadn’t been intentional, she knew that even now. For two years or so, Tyler had still called on her birthday and asked how she was doing. Then Ava was born, and Amber lost contact with everything and everyone from her life before Stephan. The baby ate up most of her time, and when she was old enough that her mother could focus a bit on herself, Amber had already forgotten about Tyler Atwood. And Tyler
Atwood about her.

  The driver pulled in the parking lot and Amber paid. She got out of the cab and started walking towards the entrance. Her mind was still lost somewhere in the past. She tried to remember what he looked like. Shoulder-length black hair, brown eyes, sharp, noble features, full lips and a strong jaw covered in just a bit of scruff. Amber smiled to herself. “Yeah, I always had a thing for him…”

  Her heart jumped when her smartphone started ringing. Hands shaking from the shock, she struggled to get her phone out of her huge bag. The name on the bright display made her groan. It was her husband. It was the first time he was calling after she had left, but the last thing she needed was to hear his voice. He would probably yell at her, anyway, demand that she came back. “No, not today,” she whispered before rejecting the call. He’d probably call again, so she figured she might as well switch her phone off.

  That was when Amber made the decision. She was standing in front of Rebecca’s building, having just decided she didn’t want to talk to her husband. Instead of turning her phone off, however, she looked for Tyler Atwood’s number and typed a short message.

  “Hey! Remember me? I know we haven’t talked in a long time, but… well… I’m in NYC. If you’re still here, wanna meet? Amber”

  She couldn’t believe she had just tapped “send”. Her heart started beating faster, pumping adrenaline into her blood. “What am I doing?” Her whole body was tingling with anticipation and fear that he might not reply, but Amber had to admit she hadn’t felt so alive in a very long time. So what if he didn’t reply? It wasn’t the end of the world. Oh, and the fact that she texted him and asked him if he wanted to meet didn’t mean anything. It certainly didn’t mean that she missed him, or that she had been thinking too much about what could have been between them if she hadn’t met Stephan. No, it didn’t mean anything. She decided to wait outside for a few more minutes. If he didn’t reply in five minutes, then she’d go up to Rebecca’s, have a nice dinner with her daughter and her friends, and forget all about it.

  Her phone beeped.

  “Of course I remember you. Yeah, I’m still here. Have any plans for tonight?”

  She almost dropped her phone. She covered her mouth with one hand to hide her ridiculously large smile, while she typed a reply with the other. The next second, she dashed inside the building, ignored the elevator, and ran up the stairs. She needed to get all this excitement and energy out of her system somehow.

  CHAPTER TWO

  The restaurant was nice. Tyler had actually come to pick her up from Rebecca’s. As she was stealing glances at him from across the table, Amber realized her cheek was still tingling from the small kiss he had planted there. She cleared her throat to stifle a silly giggle and reached for her glass of wine. Tyler looked up at her and smiled.

  “So… what brings you to New York?”

  She sighed and hesitated for a second. She had yet to decide what she really wanted from him, from this date. Was this even a date? An hour ago, she had run into Becca’s apartment, then into the bathroom to take a shower, shave her legs, and style her now dark red hair. She had barely had time to tell Ava she had some business to attend to, and whisper to Becca that she was actually going out with a guy, that Tyler had texted her letting her know he was waiting for her downstairs. Judging by her own reaction and the tight little black dress she had borrowed from Becca, Amber could be pretty sure that yes, she wanted to consider this a date. But she wasn’t sure Tyler wanted that too. Aside from that kiss and the awkward hug, he hadn’t made any move.

  “Visiting a friend,” she finally answered. If this was a date, then it was bad practice to talk about her divorce.

  Tyler pouted. “You never visited me, and I thought I was your best friend.”

  “I… I still consider you my best friend. Sounds weird, huh?” She bit the inside of her lip. “I honestly don’t know why we stopped talking. I regret it now. We should have stayed in touch.”

  He gave a deep sigh, patted his lips with a napkin and leaned back in his chair.

  “Well, if I’m still your best friend, then maybe you should trust me and tell me why you really are here.”

  He looked her straight into the eyes, and Amber felt like her insides were melting. After so many years, he could still read her like an open book. He had a smile on his full, sensual lips, but his slightly furrowed brows said he was being serious. He wanted to know everything, wanted to be the shoulder she could cry on. For real now. She had cried on his shoulder, virtually, years ago. Now she could actually touch him, look into his eyes and read his thoughts. God, she had been such a fool! This tall, handsome man was sitting across from her and waiting for her to pour her heart out. And she knew he would have the right reaction, say the right words to make her feel better. She needed Tyler. She needed him more as the friend he had always been to her online and on the phone, than as the man who could envelop her in his strong, bulky arms and make her forget her disastrous marriage.

  “Stephan and I are getting a divorce. He hasn’t signed the papers yet, but I couldn’t wait. I simply couldn’t. I had to get out of there and try to sort my life out before I went insane. So, yeah… I’m not actually visiting a friend. I’m staying with her and her husband until I figure out what to do next.”

  Tyler leaned over the table and took her hands in his. He squeezed her fingers tightly, loving the feel of her smooth skin.

  “I’m so sorry, Amber.”

  “Thanks…”

  “Is your daughter okay? It can’t be easy for her…”

  “Oh, she doesn’t know yet.”

  She looked at their joined hands and willed her brain to function normally. His thumbs had started drawing circles on her skin, and it was sad, so sad that she couldn’t remember the last time when a man had been so gentle and tender, so caring. She swore to herself she wouldn’t cry.

  “I don’t know how to tell her. She thinks we’re taking a short vacation before school starts, and my friend, Rebecca, is keeping her busy every day. She’s a wonderful person! If it weren’t for her, I don’t know where I’d be now.”

  “You know you can always count on me, right? You should have called me sooner.”

  “Oh, I couldn’t possibly…” She averted her gaze. “I wasn’t even sure you’d remember me.”

  Tyler’s lips stretched into a wide smile.

  “I never forgot you, Amber. The fact that we stopped talking was almost entirely my fault. You met Stephan, you were happy, then you got married. I realized it was better to let you go, you know? You had more important things to do than waste hours online with a geek like me.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Come on! You know I’ve always liked you. You never seemed very interested, so I preferred to simply be your friend and not ruin what we had by insisting, or doing something stupid.”

  “Are you serious?!” She couldn’t believe her ears. Tyler had always liked her. “You never… you never told me.”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “We spent hours chatting. I often didn’t go out on Friday nights because I wanted to be with you. Even though you were miles away, you were still more fun and more interesting than any of the other girls I knew. If that didn’t give it off…”

  “You should have said something!” She freed her right hand to punch him playfully. A shiver ran up her arm when she felt his hard biceps under her knuckles.

  “Yeah, I admit I was pretty young and stupid.” He gave her a goofy smile. “But it doesn’t matter anymore. You’re here now, so let’s drink to that. Better late than never.”

  They raised their glasses and clicked them.

  “Better late than never,” whispered Amber, completely lost into his warm brown eyes.

  The waiter brought their dessert. While they ate, she told him what the past ten years had been like for her. Since she hadn’t done anything notable, she finished her story quickly. She didn’t want to go into detail about her sad relationship with Stephan, and Tyl
er didn’t insist. They were having a good time, and none of them wanted to let the cheating husband spoil their evening.

  “What about you? Are you still drawing?” she asked.

  “In my spare time, yes. It’s not so much of a hobby now, since I’ve been working as a graphic designer for the past eight years or so. When you spend all your day working in Photoshop, painting and designing materials for your clients, you can’t really go home in the evening and do the same thing, no matter how much you love it.”

  “God, you have a wonderful job! I remember when I sent you those photos of me and you did your magic and turned them into fantasy pieces. I think I still have them somewhere on an old hard drive.”

  He smiled. “Oh, those were horrible.”

  “Where do you work now?”

  “Advertising company.” He bit his lower lip. He would have loved to tell her about his second job, the one he actually found exciting, the one which truly mattered, but he couldn’t. Not yet. Looking at her bright blue eyes, red hair, and full, sexy curves, he thought he would probably never tell her. Yes, she was getting a divorce and she seemed prepared to move on, but who said she would want him? She hadn’t wanted him ten years ago, why would she want him now? She really saw him as a friend and nothing more.